The greatest fear known to humankind is the fear of what isn’t known. This in turn boils down to a fear of having no control. When we are afraid we are vulnerable. And vulnerability can lead to irrational thoughts and behaviour which can often lead to unwanted and unpleasant outcomes.
I recently set off on a journey of change. A deliberate attempt to focus on the important things in life.
In order to do this I had to detach myself from the things that were pulling me down; the things that had led me into a circle of misery and depression.
By far the biggest thing to let go of was a day job that had sapped me of all self confidence. But this isn’t and wasn’t an easy thing to do.
The job was well paid and on my doorstep. Throughout difficult economic times the job continued to provide well for me and my young family. And then everything changed.
Four years ago my wife decided that it was time for me to not be a part of the family. I had to move out and move on. I would still have contact with my children and I’d do what I could to support them financially. But I would now be a single, disabled guy living alone.
Adapting wasn’t easy but adapt I did. Along the way I reconnecting with an old friend who offered the chance to work for her in a far more relaxing and creative environment. The pay was a lot less than I was used to but the ‘life’ benefits far outweighed anything I was used to. I quit my day job straight away.
Adapting financially is easy if you are ruthless. I was ruthless. Lots of things went. Things that I didn’t really need and to this day haven’t missed.
I’m sure you can relate. If I don’t watch Sky Movies too often, why spend money on it? If I don’t use the gym too often, why spend money on it?
My point here is that money and material wealth is not an important factor in deciding who I am. Society seems to want to tell me that somebody of my age should be earning a certain amount. I should be at a particular stage in my career. I should be married and raising a family at home. So much is should.
But all of this and no mention whatsoever of happiness. If I were to let the world get to me and bow to the pressures of what I should have, I’d have it at the expense of inner happiness.
In short I’m thankful for what I have, NOT what I don’t have. I don’t for one moment look back at what I may consider to have lost. There’s no point.
The journey of change is ongoing and fun and rewarding and something that I’d never swap.